When you get married, one of the things you start to notice is that everyone thinks their thing is the most important part of the day.
The baker thinks the cake is the most important. The dressmaker thinks the same about the dress. The vicar thinks the service is the most important.
What they all share is a lack of empathy – they don’t know how to put themselves in your shoes. They aren’t able to figure out what’s important for you.
As technologists we often do the same. I build trading systems at work – all the bells and whistles on the screen behind the guy bellowing “BUY! SELL!!” down the phone.
That’s what takes up most of my time, so the most important thing to me, every day, is that my product works well. Just like the DJ at your wedding reception.
That’s ok: you have to have someone making sure the wheels are greased. It’s my job and I’m good at it. When things go wrong, people notice and start to shout. When things are going right: silent running, just how we like it.
I see my colleagues talking to our users about feature X or bug Y on completely the wrong plane, and it’s often frustrating. It’s like they’re speaking a different language, neither side willing to meet the other halfway.
So, don’t be the wedding DJ, the vicar or the flower lady. Recognise that people care a little less about your world than you do, and that it’s ok.